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Happy New Year!

It’s 2017! A new year! A new start! Time for some refreshed car models! Wait… ummm, Ford is making a hybrid Mustang? More autonomous cars? More cars with hot spots? Oh, no! It’s THE FUTURE OF CARS!!! – or Car Technology Attacks – whichever you prefer.

Car manufacturers are giving us sneak peaks of what we can look forward to this year. It is chalk-full of crazy tech! none of this “new colour for 2017” or “refreshed rims” nonsense.

Here is a short list of the ELECTRIC INSANITY:

Ford: developing a hybrid F-150 and Mustang. America’s workhorse and pony are going green.

Jaguar: developing an E-Pace all-electric, semi-autonomous SUV.

Chrysler: starting its own ride sharing app that will go semi-autonomous, and eventually be sans driver altogether. One the same note, Ford and Chevy are also doing this in their own way.

BMW: reportedly expanding its electric line to include an option for every BMW platform available today. Also, they are going automonous as well…Tesla can’t have all the fun!

Mercedes-Benz: Electric. Autonomous. SUV…

The list goes on and on. But, as you can tell, it’s a lot of electric cars and making them turn/brake/accelerate/park for you so you can spend more time doing Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/Snapchat. Do I seem bitter? I am.

The Consumer Electric Show starts next week in Vegas. This is a tech show where they unveil everything from new TVs to remote control vacuum cleaners. The recent trend has been for car manufacturers to unveil new models and technology. This is all very well and good – any way to reach out to other markets and younger generations to get them thinking about cars is good. Except the Consumer Electronic Show takes place at the same time as the North American International Auto Show (Detroit Auto Show).

This is “The Big One” – the show where all manufacturers get together and collectively show their cards. All the cool stuff the designers and engineers have convinced the accountants to let pass gets unveiled at this show. A place that people like me obsess over every little detail.

They used to pour over getting the exhaust note just right, and pairing the rims to the window trim shade. Do you think 1980’s Camaro Z-28s looked that good by fluke?! They used to boast about the handling and braking abilities of their cars. I watched the unveiling of a new car at the Consumer Electronic Show tonight. They were talking about its battery life, and its ability to sense impending doom in the form of traffic in front of you, before you even could.

We are going into 2017, but really wish we were going into 1967 when all the manufacturers were literally trying to see who could build the biggest engine. Not a single thought was given to fuel economy or driver comfort. Just, who can shred tires the fastest.

I humbly propose that for every three hybrid self-driving cars made, they should be forced to build at least one V8, rear-wheel drive car. With a manual transmission. It does not need cruise control or Bluetooth connectivity or lane departure warnings. Just an engine, transmission and four wheels. I’m Old School and easy to please.

Sam Comisarow
Automotive Enthusiast @ AUTO ONE Group